Life With My Boy: Life In The Jungle


My son had just finished eating his food and decided to pick the remaining grains in the plate with his fingers. He saw I was watching him and then said;

“Mummy I’m eating like a Gorrilla.”

“Really?” I asked

“Yes”. He replied and then added for emphasis “I’m a Gorrilla.”

“No you are a human being” I answered.

“No Mummy, I’m a Gorrilla and a Monkey.” He then drops on all fours and begins to scamper.

I thought of what to do and suddenly, I got an idea.

“Ikem, where do Gorillas live?” I asked.

“In the Jungle” came his prompt response.

“Good, you are going to Jungle then.” I walked towards the door, picked up the keys and gestured for him to come. He stared at me a bit unsure.

“Mummy, I want to go to this Jungle.” He pointed towards the room where his Dad was sitted.

“No, you are going to that Jungle.” I pointed towards the door leading out of the flat and then started carrying him towards it. We got there and I started unlocking the door.

“No Mummy, I don’t want to go to the Jungle, I’m a human being!” He was shouting and wailing this time.

“But you just said that you are a Gorilla and a Monkey, and Gorillas live in the Jungle, human beings live in the house”

“Mummy I’m Not A Gorrilla, I’m a human being, I will stay in the house!” He was pleading.

At this point, I burst into laughter and locked the doors. He sank into a chair in the corridor, I could see the relief on his face as he stared at me, probably wondering if I really would have taken him to the Jungle.



Life With My Boy: A Family of Singers?


Do you remember Sound of Music? The Von Trapp Family Singers… aha! With their many classics especially ‘Doe a Deer…’ I can hear you humming already! Voila! It’s been 50 years since that movie premiered and history is about to repeat itself most surely, right in Lasgidi, Naija and if you zoom in a little closer, you would land right here in my sitting room. Ehen!

Trust me, it pales in comparison to the mansion that is the home of the Von Trapp family but nevertheless, it’s home and full of love.


Zoom in a little further and in the place of Maria, you have me, yes moi! A very unwilling Singer. It’s amazing that after having spent a little above 10 years in the combined school choir of my Primary and Secondary schools, I still do not know my voice part, yeah, Thanks.

In the place of the 7 cute Von Trapp children, you have my son and no, he is not dressed in Naval like clothes and standing like a statue or jumping at the blast of a whistle, rather he is seated on his blue child sized plastic chair, drumming with two unequal pencils on his red plastic table.

“Mummy sing another one, sing I know who I am…” he adds excitedly

I start the famous lyrics by Sinach, singing on any key that I find convenient and switching keys without even realizing it. My son drums excitedly, his face beaming with joy.

We carry on with our medley and though I really would like to stop, I continue for his sake and we go another round and then another round and then…

Oh no! Momma is tired and it’s bed time. I send him off to sleep, ignoring his protests and once more, we return to our peaceful family of non-singers. LOL.

Life With My Boy: It’s Zobo for moi!

Working on my son’s school project recently, something hit me and it hit me really hard.

You see, one of the tasks they were asked to do was to build a literacy album with pictures depicting words from a-z. In helping him out, I found myself looking for things like P is for Polar Bear and Y is for Yoyo.

At that point, a thought came to me. Why can’t Y be for Yam? P for Palm Kernel and Z for Zobo. Please can anyone tell me what a Yoyo looks like? Yeah I know I’ve seen pictures of it and all but we need more than pictures to learn don’t we?

I just took a lesson from that and immediately changed my search to everyday things that can be seen in Nigeria. Afterall, my son is growing up here and I can count the number of times I’ve seen a Polar Bear on none of my fingers.

The thing is, I’m resolving to make sure that my son is taught relevant things, to help him develop local intelligence that would be of benefit to not only Naija and Africa but also to the whole world!

I think that’s one of the issues we’ve had with the educational system in our country, it’s not real… We finish from school and can’t apply what we’ve learnt. But then, things are changing speedily, the curriculum of schools these days are amazingly real and the kids are receiving education for life. Thumbs up to the 21st century educationists.

We just have to tweak a little more, as we practice the British Curriculumn, let’s also completely adapt them to Africa so our children can learn real things.

Cheers to you with a glass of Zobo!


Life With My Boy: Should I sue Zee TV?

Well, yes. I’m flipping through my advertising textbooks right now, there’s got to be a law that would enable me sue Zee Tv for a misleading advert.

Or maybe I should sue Khana Khazana, since that is the programme I have an issue with.

You see, Khana Khazana is an Indian Cookery Show, hosted by Celebrity Chef; Sanjeev Kapoor on Zee Tv, the Indian Chanel on DSTV (166). When they started the advert for the programme, I totally loved it, especially the intro… Let me describe it for you…

An Indian man, in about his mid-forties, wearing a white half apron enters a lovely kitchen with mostly wooden cabinet. He takes a slight bow with his hands together and says

‘Namaste! from Sanjeev Kapoor and all the team of Khana Khazana’.

Beautiful! Very lyrical especially with the thick Indian accent…

Then they changed the intro. So he now says this instead…

‘They say you eat food with your eyes first of all, before you taste it with your mouth…’

I won’t have had any problem with that if… and I repeat if my son hadn’t picked it up. Now he would tell me…

‘Mummy, I eat food with my eyes!’

Okay now. How do I let him know at this age that what the man was saying is just an adage and that people actually eat with their mouth?

You see why I have to sue them; for misinformation of course! Did they really have to use that line?

I’ll keep flipping through my textbook and hopefully, I’ll be able to build my case.



Life With My Boy: ‘b’ is for ‘God forbid!’


You see that black stuff with wings spread out in the picture?

Yeah, the bat; here’s a little story about it.

My son just got a new picture book from one of his Aunts and we were reading through it. We got to the letter ‘b’ and he would either say the name of the picture or I would assist where he doesn’t know it…

Mum (pointing at the bat): B is for…
Son: God forbid!

Lol. I figured that someone must have shouted ‘God forbid’ when they saw a Bat, so my son simply assumed that that was the name of the animal.

I had my fair share of laughter first before teaching him that the name of the animal is Bat and not ‘God forbid’.


Such mistakes are better made at home than in school. Imagine if he had shouted ‘God forbid’ when his teacher shows him a Bat in school. Ha ha ha! I’m not sure she would have forgotten in a hurry.