Life With My Boys – The Storytela

Jul 12, 2019Jul 12, 2019

When Nigerians Say This…

I laughed hard, really hard when it dawned on me.

My two year old son had just given me a typical Naija response, something you need to know if relating with Nigerians or visiting Nigeria. Or, do I say Africa? Well, I speak for my country.

I had called out to him and in his light slightly high pitched voice, he answered “I’m coming“.

I waited. Nothing.

He answered, “I’m coming Mummy” but continued with what he was doing. It was then it hit me.

It’s typical of Nigerians to say ‘I’m coming’ in response to being beckoned but still take a little time to finish up a task at hand or even go in an opposite direction, with the intention to return later.

Or someone could stand up to leave a room and say ‘I’m coming’ while they actually meant ‘I’ll be back’.

I remember on another occasion, he kept walking away, stopping intermittently to say ‘I’m coming Mummy’. Something I’ve done to them on quite some occasions.

I’ve tried to check myself sometimes, and I’ve agreed that I would use the right terms like ‘give me a minute‘ or ‘I’d be back‘ or ‘give me some time‘ but then it seems that ‘greater is the I’m coming in my programming than my efforts at a change’.

I’ll let it pass for the kids as an additional Naija flavour. No need fighting to change what I’m guilty of.

#shrugs

The Storytela

Jul 1, 2018Jul 1, 2018

Life With My Boy: Naija ‘Faith’ things

‘Mummy, let’s pray for NEPA to bring light’.

He looked into my face, half smiling eyes willing me to agree.

‘Oya, pray.’ I said.

He shut his eyes and called on God to get ‘NEPA’ to restore the power that had failed moments earlier.

This is Naija.

As a child, you learn to pray about everything. My son was learning fast.

NEPA, was the old acronym for the Electricity board, the new one is PHCN.

The change in name happened even before I got married. But why bother with the new name? When the old problem persists…

It’s been raining intermittently for 2 days now in Lagos.

The laundry of course has refused to dry. I’ve had to alternate between bringing them in when the rain starts and taking them out when it stops.

I would need some of them for my boys to wear to school this week.

One question rings in my mind though,

‘Should I apply the Naija principle and pray for the rain to stop?’

Or do I let nature take its course?

Anybody willing to join their faith with mine?

Anybody with wet laundry that it is…

Ikem riding a bike at his school’s family fun fair. The rain stopped long enough for the event to hold

Apr 21, 2018

Life With My Boys: A Room for Daughter-in-Law

We are in my room, Ikem and I.

I’m chatting with my Sister on IG about an upcoming family friend’s wedding. We are helping out with some stuff and exchanging ideas and pictures. Ikem sees the picture.

Ikem: Mummy, is Aunty K getting married?

Me: Yes.

Ikem: Who is she getting married to?

Me: You already know

He mentions the name of the person, observes that they are usually together and then wonders why everybody wants him on their train (this will be just the second time). Then…

Ikem: So where will they live?

Me: In Uncle E’s house

Pause. Okem enters. We had left him in the bathroom to continue with water play after his evening bath. We move over to their room. I’m dressing Okem up. The discussion continues.

Ikem: I want my wife to move to my house after we get married.

Me: Yes she will

Ikem: So she can stay here?

Me: No. You will move to your own house, then you get married and she’ll move in.

Ikem: But I want to stay close to Shoprite, Mummy please let her come here.

Me: But Shoprite is in a lot of places. You can always go there.

Ikem: Please will you let me get that Spider Man costume from Shoprite when I become an adult?

Me: You can buy whatever you want with your money as an adult

Ikem: So when I get married, my wife will move here and then I will go and get that Spider Man costume.

I try to put it together and then it dawns on me. I had told him marriage was for adults so he believed that once he became an adult, he would get married and of course buy that costume he saw at Party Perfect.

Ikem: Please Mummy can my wife stay here, I want her to stay here.

I decided to agree. No need explaining further. By the time he becomes an adult, he would have figured it out.

Me: Yes she can.

Ikem: Thank you Mummy. Please don’t forget. Mummy will you forget when I become an adult?

Me: No I won’t.

Lol

The End.

Apr 30, 2017May 12, 2017

Life With My Boys: Caption This

Tonight, I was going through the bedtime routine with Ikem. We had a guest, so he already stayed up late. First was the bedtime story and after that was prayer time, which he led.

Usually, he would say a short prayer, then the Grace, then Surely and we would round up with the greeting ‘Cheer Up brethren, the Word Works!’

Tonight was different, he had started with the short prayer, then he interjected with ‘I just want you to speak in tongues’.
I was a bit surprised but I complied and we started speaking in tongues. I waited for him to round up but he continued, so I followed.

Then my cousin dropped a white saucer of fried plantain besides us (we were in the middle of our sitting room, lying on the floor on a blanket and I had requested for the Plantain earlier).

The aroma of the soft, fried over ripe plantain was quite inviting. At this time I tried to round up the prayer by saying ‘Alleluia’ and glancing at Ikem.

For where…

He looked at me and said ‘I just want you to speak in tongues for one last time’.

Chai!

We continued speaking… Then it dawned on me that he was re-enacting what he saw at the all-night prayer we attended on Friday because he now started making declarations…

‘Father we live by your Word in Jesus name!’ Then he spoke in tongues

‘Your Word will not fail us in Jesus name!’ More tongues.

By this time, I just forgot about the Plantain…

I thought he said one last time, I said in my heart. I tried to round up again by saying ‘Alleluia’.

‘I just want you to pray in tongues for this last time’, he said again, with half open eyes, his palms joined together in prayer position.

Dear Lord… I just burst into laughter… I’m so sorry but it was quite funny.

He groaned, held my shoulders and said, ‘please don’t mess this up’

I quickly repented and we went back to praying in tongues.

When I saw he was speaking slower and probably feeling sleepy, I interjected with ‘In Jesus name.’

He then rounded up with a few more declarations. We shared the Grace, Surely and the Greeting.

Then we reached for the Plantain…

The End.

Apr 24, 2017Jul 10, 2019

Life With My Boys: Before Jesus Comes…

Just like Jesus — Ikem re-enacting the Crucifixion… without the nails!

On Easter Monday, I was attending to a steaming pot of red tomato sauce in the kitchen. Ikem had helped me prepare the bell pepper and had been waiting for the stew to be ready so he can dig in. He came into the kitchen as I was rounding up and the conversation below ensued:

Ikem: Mummy, I’m hungry

Me: The Stew will soon be done

Ikem: When will it be done?

Me: Soon

Ikem: But that’s when Jesus is coming

Me: (Bursts out laughing) The Stew will be done before Jesus comes.

Hallelujah! Jesus is alive and he’s coming back for his people. Are you ready?

John 3:16: For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life.

Romans 10:9-10 (NLT) If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

http://bible.com/116/rom.10.9.NLT

You can make Jesus Christ the Lord of your

life by praying the Prayer below:

“O Lord God, I believe with all my heart in Jesus Christ, Son of the living God. I believe He died for me and God raised Him from the dead. I believe He’s alive today. I confess with my mouth that Jesus Christ is the Lord of my life from this day. Through Him and in His Name, I have eternal life; I’m born again. Thank you Lord, for saving my soul! I’m now a child of God. Hallelujah!”

Congratulations! You’re now a child of God.

For more information on what to do, please send me an e-mail at thestorytela@gmail.com

Prayer from Rhapsody of Realities Teevo