Life With My Boys: A Room for Daughter-in-Law

We are in my room, Ikem and I.

I’m chatting with my Sister on IG about an upcoming family friend’s wedding. We are helping out with some stuff and exchanging ideas and pictures. Ikem sees the picture.

Ikem: Mummy, is Aunty K getting married?

Me: Yes.

Ikem: Who is she getting married to?

Me: You already know

He mentions the name of the person, observes that they are usually together and then wonders why everybody wants him on their train (this will be just the second time). Then…

Ikem: So where will they live?

Me: In Uncle E’s house

Pause. Okem enters. We had left him in the bathroom to continue with water play after his evening bath. We move over to their room. I’m dressing Okem up. The discussion continues.

Ikem: I want my wife to move to my house after we get married.

Me: Yes she will

Ikem: So she can stay here?

Me: No. You will move to your own house, then you get married and she’ll move in.

Ikem: But I want to stay close to Shoprite, Mummy please let her come here.

Me: But Shoprite is in a lot of places. You can always go there.

Ikem: Please will you let me get that Spider Man costume from Shoprite when I become an adult?

Me: You can buy whatever you want with your money as an adult

Ikem: So when I get married, my wife will move here and then I will go and get that Spider Man costume.

I try to put it together and then it dawns on me. I had told him marriage was for adults so he believed that once he became an adult, he would get married and of course buy that costume he saw at Party Perfect.

Ikem: Please Mummy can my wife stay here, I want her to stay here.

I decided to agree. No need explaining further. By the time he becomes an adult, he would have figured it out.

Me: Yes she can.

Ikem: Thank you Mummy. Please don’t forget. Mummy will you forget when I become an adult?

Me: No I won’t.

Lol

The End.

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LWMB: Turning Water Into Wine

“Turn into wine, turn into wine” Ikem chanted placing his right hand on top the glass cup which rested on his left palm.

We had taken turns to drink water from the dispenser and when he was to bring me a second glass, he suddenly decided to change it to wine. 

We laughed. I drank the water. He got another cup and started again. 

‘You don’t need wine Ikem, what you need is water. It won’t change. 

‘I command you to turn to wine, turn to wine in Jesus name.’ 

Remaining Water in the Glass

‘Why do you want to turn the water to wine?’ I asked. I already guessed the answer.

‘Because Jesus turned water into wine’ came the prompt response.

‘Wine is not for children’. 

‘Mummy, drink this and see if it is wine’. He hands me half a glass of water. 

I drink some of it and thank him for the chilled glass of water. 

While he’s wondering why the water isn’t yet turned to wine, I save this remaining water in the glass for the story. 

The End.

LWMB: Don’t Grow Old Mummy

I have grey hairs already. 

Anyways, it’s inherited. My mum got hers early and also a few of my sisters, so I’m not alone. 

Thing is, my son Ikem doesn’t want me to get old. He understood the concept of getting old last Christmas, we had travelled to the village to spend sometime with family. 

One cold harmattan morning, he was trying to race his grandma round the house as usual but she stopped and told him that she was now old.

He looked hard at her, then walked to me and asked if I would get old like Grandma. I answered in the affirmative and his face fell.

We tried to explain but he insisted that he didn’t want me to get old. We finally let it go.

Fast forward to last night, it’s time for bedtime prayers, he’s praying and he says: 

‘Mummy will not get old in Jesus name’.

I wasn’t quick to answer as that might mean that I would not live long. I tried to correct him.

‘Ikem, everybody will get old one day’, I said. 

In the dimly lit room, kneeling besides the bed, I could see his face fall as tears filled his eyes.

‘But Mummy, you promised me that time that you will not get old’ he said in a shaky voice.

I couldn’t remember making that promise but I wanted the prayer to go on since it was already past his bedtime. So I said okay, just go on and pray. 

He repeated the prayer and I said Amen, he was consoled, we finished up and slept off immediately.

What to do?

The Storytela

LWMB: What Do You Wanna Be?

‘Blood! Blood! Blood! And then death!’

The bunny screamed as she pulled up rolls of red ribbon and then squished a bit of Ketchup to show more blood. She then froze for a second to show death before ‘coming back to life’ to continue her drama.

Ikem sat transfixed as he watched Zootopia. He followed the tiny bunny keenly as she went on to achieve her dreams of becoming a Police Officer. Right there and then, a new dream was birthed.

Here comes the school project and project defence.

Me: Ikem, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Ikem: A Police Officer!

Me:Really?! Why?

Ikem: To help the good guys, to catch the bad guys, to drive a Police Car and own a Police Gun.

Me: Ye! What happened to wanting to become a Pastor?

Project done, defence done. Uncle Too comes visiting some weeks later.

Uncle Too: Ikem, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Ikem: I want to be a Police Officer.

Uncle Too: When I was your age, I wanted to become a Police Officer…

Ikem: But then you became an Uncle

Uncle Too: 😀 Well… You are going to be an Uncle too

Ikem: Nooooooo! I don’t want to be an Uncle, I want to be a Police Officer!

Chilling with Uncle Tochukwu

Life With My Boys: Caption This

Chierika reading Bedtime Story to Ikem

Tonight, I was going through the bedtime routine with Ikem. We had a guest, so he already stayed up late. First was the bedtime story and after that was prayer time, which he led.

Usually, he would say a short prayer, then the Grace, then Surely and we would round up with the greeting ‘Cheer Up brethren, the Word Works!’

Tonight was different, he had started with the short prayer, then he interjected with ‘I just want you to speak in tongues’.
I was a bit surprised but I complied and we started speaking in tongues. I waited for him to round up but he continued, so I followed.

Then my cousin dropped a white saucer of fried plantain besides us (we were in the middle of our sitting room, lying on the floor on a blanket and I had requested for the Plantain earlier).

Yummy

The aroma of the soft, fried over ripe plantain was quite inviting. At this time I tried to round up the prayer by saying ‘Alleluia’ and glancing at Ikem.

For where…

He looked at me and said ‘I just want you to speak in tongues for one last time’.

Chai! 

We continued speaking… Then it dawned on me that he was re-enacting what he saw at the all-night prayer we attended on Friday because he now started making declarations…

‘Father we live by your Word in Jesus name!’ Then he spoke in tongues

‘Your Word will not fail us in Jesus name!’ More tongues.

By this time, I just forgot about the Plantain…

I thought he said one last time, I said in my heart. I tried to round up again by saying ‘Alleluia’.

‘I just want you to pray in tongues for this last time’, he said again, with half open eyes, his palms joined together in prayer position.

Dear Lord… I just burst into laughter… I’m so sorry but it was quite funny.

He groaned, held my shoulders and said, ‘please don’t mess this up’

I quickly repented and we went back to praying in tongues.

When I saw he was speaking slower and probably feeling sleepy, I interjected with ‘In Jesus name.’

He then rounded up with a few more declarations. We shared the Grace, Surely and the Greeting.

Then we reached for the Plantain…

The End.