Today is International Day For the Elimination of Violence Against Women and with respect to that, I’ll be re-posting an article that I wrote for http://www.davinadiaries.com. Please read below:
I recently saw the African Magic Original Film, ‘Next Door to Happiness’ and it brought home the reality of domestic violence a.k.a Wife battering to me. You see, before now, domestic abuse was something I heard of, read of but didn’t really understand the gravity of it.
Ha! Why would a man beat his wife like that? Sote she would have bruises, black eye, swollen face and then the next day, he comes home and buys her stuff, cooks for her and tells her that he loves her. Which kain love be that one abeg?
Anyways, thank God the woman in question came to her senses after the man beat her blue black one night. She simply called her Mum the next morning, packed the little thing she could and fled! The silly hubby now bought her a brand new car and kept begging, but the woman’s Mum just came back with her, packed the rest of her belongings and she left the man for good.
I did notice that the man while telling stories with his colleagues mentioned that his Dad used to beat his Mum when they were growing up. I also know that men who tell me that they would never beat their wives would usually mention that they never saw their Dad raise a hand on their Mum not to talk of bringing it down on her.
So my question is; does it always follow that men who grew up witnessing domestic violence are destined to carry out this same act? I believe that we can choose the way we react to things. When your wife, or fiancée or girlfriend gets you angry to the point where you feel you might lose it, just walk away. Don’t be the wild animal that just attacks a weaker prey and keeps going because she can’t defend herself.
And my dear ladies, how defenseless can we be sef? I find that picture of women screaming and falling on the floor while the man hits them a bit of a stereotype. Does it mean that we can’t fight back? The advice to any woman in an abusive relationship is to run for your life while you still have it. But then, if you decide to stay, learn some self-defense skills. Go for a Karate Class or learn how to wield some ‘turn garri’ and Pestle but please be careful how you use it before you end up in Kirikiri Maximum Prison.
Above all, don’t keep quiet and endure the beating hoping that one day he will change. #Speakout #gethelp #YOLO!
Photo Credit: nigeriamovienetwork.com
4 Replies to “When A Man Beats A Woman”
I have seen that movie too and it is not reasonable to me for a man to say i love you and the next minute he is snuffing the life out of you. For the record, we also have women that abuse their husbands both physically and mentally. I think the best option in any abusive relationship is just to save your head by taking the quickest exist point. I was listening to a program on Rainbow FM called Rhythms and Story (I guess) and the woman had to go to jail because she mistakenly killed her abusive and cheating husband just becos she wanted to defend herself. That story got me very emotional and angry. The man did not pay for his deeds, cos i don’t believe death is the penalty for evil. She is paying dearly now for just one act of self defense. The most painful part is that people in abusive relationships would have seen the signs long before they manifest but the will hope “with them the story will be different”. You can’t change an adult, the adult needs to make a personal and painstaking decision to change. It’s not about you but the person and the excuse that their fathers/mothers used to abuse their spouses does not hold water, if you were born in Ajegule must you behave like a kid from Ajegunle.You should know everyone can response in anger and become violent but its a personal decision that we all have to make everyday in live to not respond to anger with violence. Thank you for this beautiful piece @thestorytela
Well said Eniola
Domestic abuse is so traumatizing!
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It really is traumatizing!