Today is International Day For the Elimination of Violence Against Women and with respect to that, I’ll be re-posting an article that I wrote for http://www.davinadiaries.com. Please read below:
I recently saw the African Magic Original Film, ‘Next Door to Happiness’ and it brought home the reality of domestic violence a.k.a Wife battering to me. You see, before now, domestic abuse was something I heard of, read of but didn’t really understand the gravity of it.
Ha! Why would a man beat his wife like that? Sote she would have bruises, black eye, swollen face and then the next day, he comes home and buys her stuff, cooks for her and tells her that he loves her. Which kain love be that one abeg?
Anyways, thank God the woman in question came to her senses after the man beat her blue black one night. She simply called her Mum the next morning, packed the little thing she could and fled! The silly hubby now bought her a brand new car and kept begging, but the woman’s Mum just came back with her, packed the rest of her belongings and she left the man for good.
I did notice that the man while telling stories with his colleagues mentioned that his Dad used to beat his Mum when they were growing up. I also know that men who tell me that they would never beat their wives would usually mention that they never saw their Dad raise a hand on their Mum not to talk of bringing it down on her.
So my question is; does it always follow that men who grew up witnessing domestic violence are destined to carry out this same act? I believe that we can choose the way we react to things. When your wife, or fiancée or girlfriend gets you angry to the point where you feel you might lose it, just walk away. Don’t be the wild animal that just attacks a weaker prey and keeps going because she can’t defend herself.
And my dear ladies, how defenseless can we be sef? I find that picture of women screaming and falling on the floor while the man hits them a bit of a stereotype. Does it mean that we can’t fight back? The advice to any woman in an abusive relationship is to run for your life while you still have it. But then, if you decide to stay, learn some self-defense skills. Go for a Karate Class or learn how to wield some ‘turn garri’ and Pestle but please be careful how you use it before you end up in Kirikiri Maximum Prison.
Above all, don’t keep quiet and endure the beating hoping that one day he will change. #Speakout #gethelp #YOLO!
Photo Credit: nigeriamovienetwork.com