Life With My Boy: Life In The Jungle

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My son had just finished eating his food and decided to pick the remaining grains in the plate with his fingers. He saw I was watching him and then said;

“Mummy I’m eating like a Gorrilla.”

“Really?” I asked

“Yes”. He replied and then added for emphasis “I’m a Gorrilla.”

“No you are a human being” I answered.

“No Mummy, I’m a Gorrilla and a Monkey.” He then drops on all fours and begins to scamper.

I thought of what to do and suddenly, I got an idea.

“Ikem, where do Gorillas live?” I asked.

“In the Jungle” came his prompt response.

“Good, you are going to Jungle then.” I walked towards the door, picked up the keys and gestured for him to come. He stared at me a bit unsure.

“Mummy, I want to go to this Jungle.” He pointed towards the room where his Dad was sitted.

“No, you are going to that Jungle.” I pointed towards the door leading out of the flat and then started carrying him towards it. We got there and I started unlocking the door.

“No Mummy, I don’t want to go to the Jungle, I’m a human being!” He was shouting and wailing this time.

“But you just said that you are a Gorilla and a Monkey, and Gorillas live in the Jungle, human beings live in the house”

“Mummy I’m Not A Gorrilla, I’m a human being, I will stay in the house!” He was pleading.

At this point, I burst into laughter and locked the doors. He sank into a chair in the corridor, I could see the relief on his face as he stared at me, probably wondering if I really would have taken him to the Jungle.

LOL.

Life With My Boy: This Boy o!

Imagine when you’ve taken time to teach your child that he or she is Royalty, a Prince/Princess, King/Queen. And then you even agreed with them that they are Superman/ whatever the girls claim and that they have Super Powers…

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Okay, time to stop imagining.

I had actually done all that and was feeling super cool with myself, as per correct Mum, only to get to my son’s school recently and his classmates were telling me how he says that he is a Horse, a Dog, a Lion, a Cat and a Wild Animal! Jesus Christ!

Not only does he claim to be these things, he demonstrates what each of them does in CLASS! And to put the icing on the Cake, his teacher told me that he was offerring free Horse Rides on his back!

Free Horse Rides?

He obviously doesn’t know how much his school fees is, not to talk about other expenses. If he has decided to be a Horse instead of a Prince, he should at least be a little entrepreneurial and offer PAID horse rides. LOL.

I guess I have to go back to the drawing board and find another way of making this ‘I’m a King’ thingy enter his head. Which one is Wild Animal abeg?

It is well o!

Life With My Boy : Things They Don’t Tell You

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I have a great respect and love for websites and blogs that help young parents by telling them what to expect at each stage of a child’s growth.

However I have found out that they don’t tell you everything.

No one told me that between the ages of two & three, toddlers would be able to take Selfies with smart phones.

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As techy as I claim to be, I have to admit that I didn’t know ‘reverse camera’ was used for Selfies until my son started using it. Ye!

He also records & plays videos  and expertly uses the YouVersion Children’s Bible App on my phone (how much is that tab for kiddies again?)

The other day, I heard a voice say ‘What’s up men?’ And I practically froze. I had to be sure it was coming from my 3 year old.

Most recently, in the bathroom, while having his bath, he sang ‘Don Doro bucci‘ and before I knew it I had gone like ‘Eh, who taught you?’.

I do try my best not to panic or overreact as toddlers pick things fast and all but then…. Mothers are Mothers biko

Funny thing is, he still can’t answer to ‘Who taught you?’ so my questions are always answered with ‘It’s me!’

We’ve resorted to listening closely to him and trying to teach him what’s appropriate and what’s not.

The other day I said ‘Say after me, that’s inappropriate’. Lol. I can’t even begin to spell what he pronounced. Afterall, he’s only just a 3 year old.

Life With My Boy: Yes or No!

It was a lovely Sunday Morning, I was in the kitchen cutting vegetables that had been toughened by the Harmattan in Lagos, when my toddler walked in. We got talking and the conversation progressed to this:

Me: So Ikem do you want to drink Tea?

I wasn’t looking at him when I asked, so I repeated the question and turned to see him nod his head. Feeling like a good mother, I decided to teach him some grammar:

Me: Ikem, don’t nod your head okay? You need to answer Yes or No.

Son: Okay.

Me: So do you want Tea?

Son: Yes or No!

Lol! I  just burst into laughter and left the boy alone.

Grammar ko,  Oyibo ni.

Life With My Boy: Meet my Twin!

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Stepping out in Mama's Shoes

Found my semi-siamese twin after decades of existence. I call him semi-siamese because we are not permanently joined together but he sure can be a tag – a – long

Mummy I want to carry you’

What he actually means is ‘Mummy carry me’.

And then he follows me around the house; from the sitting room,  to the kitchen and to the bedrooms and when I finally escape into the ‘ladies’ or the bathroom,  guess who’s knocking at the door? Yeah right!

My boy would step in my shoes, try to wear my clothes and then we share my Orange wristwatch.  I wear it to work, and he takes over when I get home.

But I have 2 magical words for severing all ties:
Word Number 1: It’s time to bathe
Word Number 2: Time to Sleep

My toddler suddenly disappears and I end up being the one to look for him. LOL.

What’s your experience with the little ones in your life?