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Jul 12, 2019Jul 12, 2019

When Nigerians Say This…

I laughed hard, really hard when it dawned on me.

My two year old son had just given me a typical Naija response, something you need to know if relating with Nigerians or visiting Nigeria. Or, do I say Africa? Well, I speak for my country.

I had called out to him and in his light slightly high pitched voice, he answered “I’m coming“.

I waited. Nothing.

He answered, “I’m coming Mummy” but continued with what he was doing. It was then it hit me.

It’s typical of Nigerians to say ‘I’m coming’ in response to being beckoned but still take a little time to finish up a task at hand or even go in an opposite direction, with the intention to return later.

Or someone could stand up to leave a room and say ‘I’m coming’ while they actually meant ‘I’ll be back’.

I remember on another occasion, he kept walking away, stopping intermittently to say ‘I’m coming Mummy’. Something I’ve done to them on quite some occasions.

I’ve tried to check myself sometimes, and I’ve agreed that I would use the right terms like ‘give me a minute‘ or ‘I’d be back‘ or ‘give me some time‘ but then it seems that ‘greater is the I’m coming in my programming than my efforts at a change’.

I’ll let it pass for the kids as an additional Naija flavour. No need fighting to change what I’m guilty of.

#shrugs

The Storytela

Jul 10, 2019Jul 10, 2019

A Suicide Room For Kings

Right in the 19th century expansive palace of King Toffa, in Porto Novo, Bénin Republic lies a room which nobody enters till date.

The many chambers of the palace

We had just arrived Bénin, our first stop was at Porto Novo, Le Musée du Palais Honmé.

The tour guide was quite detailed and we had an interpreter from GOTA tours who translated into English.

King Toffa who built this palace had about 120 wives and was quite instrumental in allowing the both Christianity and Islam co-exist with the traditional Voudou religion.

The Palace court where important meetings are held

Now, one of the rooms the Tour guide showed us was the ‘dark room’ marked with signs saying ‘do not enter’. We asked why it was called the ‘dark room’ and he told us that Kings would usually go in there to commit suicide. This was quite alarming.

He explained that different poisons and objects for suicide were kept there and a King who probably lost a war and didn’t want to be captured would go in there, drink the poison and then step out of the room and die.

Statue in the courtyard

The King needed to die outside as nobody was permitted to enter that room even if it was to bring out a corpse. Interesting, isn’t it?

The feeling of despair that makes one commit suicide. Choosing to end it all instead of spending one more day in confronting the situation.

Bringing it forward to the 21st Century, one question to ask is, is suicide really worth it?

Considering that there’s a life after this world. Whether we believe in this life or not doesn’t mean we would not experience it because there’s more to a man than the body we see or the mind we think with. There’s a spirit inside the body that would continue to exist in the spirit realm after the body dies.

So if suicide just kills the body, what becomes of the spirit? The real you?

Suicide starts from a thought, that lie that says ‘just escape, end it all and it would be over’.

The truth is ‘would it?’

Don’t wait to die to find out. Get help.

The fact is, no matter how dark or bad things look, they can still change for the better. Keep your hope alive.

And if you don’t know what else to do, close your eyes and say ‘Jesus, help me’. It might sound ridiculous at first but keep saying it and help will come in ways you can’t even imagine.

And like the sign outside the dark room says, do not enter the Suicide room please.

Need help overcoming those suicidal thoughts?

Email us at info@thestorytela.com

Interested in visiting Bénin Republic?

Indicate in the comment section and I’ll link you up with a tour operator.

Warm Thoughts,

The Storytela

Feb 21, 2019Feb 21, 2019

Wait!!

Just one minute please…

Something just hit me right now. Like a mind-shift.

How do I really see myself?

Beyond what I’ve been taught or told about me by others.

What thoughts do I think about me?

Do I think I’m organised? Or disorganised? And trying to get organised?

For years I’ve been trying to change somethings about me but I always started from the outside which is deciding to do those stuffs like adopt a beauty routine, be more this or that but in reality I never saw myself as someone who would actually maintain a beauty routine!

No wonder I’ve been finding it challenging making some lasting changes in this area.

Change should always start from the inside, first of all see myself as being, then I can!

So, I’m immediately changing my thought patterns about myself…

I’m organised. I’m a fashionista (this got me giggling). I care about my looks. I can maintain a beauty routine. I can run this business. I’m strengthened. I’m not overwhelmed. I have a solution. I’m a great Mom. I’m a great wife. I’m great.

I am. I can. I will. I do.

It would take a while to get used to these thoughts but I’ll meditate on them and say them to myself until they automatically become my thoughts steadily and then I blossom from the inside.

As a man thinks… So is he!

Jul 1, 2018Jul 1, 2018

Life With My Boy: Naija ‘Faith’ things

‘Mummy, let’s pray for NEPA to bring light’.

He looked into my face, half smiling eyes willing me to agree.

‘Oya, pray.’ I said.

He shut his eyes and called on God to get ‘NEPA’ to restore the power that had failed moments earlier.

This is Naija.

As a child, you learn to pray about everything. My son was learning fast.

NEPA, was the old acronym for the Electricity board, the new one is PHCN.

The change in name happened even before I got married. But why bother with the new name? When the old problem persists…

It’s been raining intermittently for 2 days now in Lagos.

The laundry of course has refused to dry. I’ve had to alternate between bringing them in when the rain starts and taking them out when it stops.

I would need some of them for my boys to wear to school this week.

One question rings in my mind though,

‘Should I apply the Naija principle and pray for the rain to stop?’

Or do I let nature take its course?

Anybody willing to join their faith with mine?

Anybody with wet laundry that it is…

Ikem riding a bike at his school’s family fun fair. The rain stopped long enough for the event to hold

Jan 16, 2018

LWMB: Turning Water Into Wine

“Turn into wine, turn into wine” Ikem chanted placing his right hand on top the glass cup which rested on his left palm.

We had taken turns to drink water from the dispenser and when he was to bring me a second glass, he suddenly decided to change it to wine.

We laughed. I drank the water. He got another cup and started again.

‘You don’t need wine Ikem, what you need is water. It won’t change.

‘I command you to turn to wine, turn to wine in Jesus name.’

‘Why do you want to turn the water to wine?’ I asked. I already guessed the answer.

‘Because Jesus turned water into wine’ came the prompt response.

‘Wine is not for children’.

‘Mummy, drink this and see if it is wine’. He hands me half a glass of water.

I drink some of it and thank him for the chilled glass of water.

While he’s wondering why the water isn’t yet turned to wine, I save this remaining water in the glass for the story.

The End.