Life With My Boy: The Voice Of God

My son dreads cutting his nails, he calls the nail cutter ‘Cutting Wound’ and declares that it’s a dangerous object.

Or maybe I should say that he acts like he dreads cutting his nails when he is at home. This is because when I have to get an Assistant teacher in his school to help (after loosing several fights at home) he would sit properly, stretch out his hands without any tantrums, allow the teacher cut his nails and then say ‘Thank you Miss Alice‘ or ‘Thank you Miss Taiwo‘ depending on who is helping out.

One day, I insisted that he would cut his nails at home while he was awake and we struggled to no avail, so I decided to turn to the jungle for help one last time.

I told him he would go to the Jungle and live with animals, since he wants to grow claws in the place of nails. He kept laughing and didn’t budge. I took him out of the house to the staircase and locked the connecting gate. He kept laughing thinking it was a game. I then told him to walk down the staircase and out into the compound/jungle. As he began his descent, I made everyone go inside and then I made a very loud noise ‘moooooooooo’ (I sincerely didn’t expect this to work).

Next thing I heard was Ikem screaming and running up the staircase, ‘Mummy open the door, the Gorrilla is coming’, please open the door’.

I tried so hard to stifle the laughter, the gate had openings so we could see ourselves. I said I would let him in if he was ready to cut his nails. Anyways, it worked and we had a peaceful nail cutting session. Afterwards, I stuck to cutting his nails when he was asleep.

Fast forward to this weekend, we are his room working on his school project, and I noticed his nails were due for a cut.

‘Ikem, you need to cut your nails.’ I said

‘No Mummy, God said I should not cut my nails’. He replied.

‘Eh’?! I wasn’t sure I heard him well. ‘God cannot tell you not to cut your nails’. I replied.

‘I heard the voice of God, he told me not to cut my nails. Jesus said I should not cut my nails’. He replied smiling back at me.

‘Heyyyyy!’ I was short of words. ‘God can’t say that, it’s not in the Bible.’ I insisted.

‘The Bible of God says so, Pastor Chris said I should not cut my nails.’

Sincerely, I just left the matter at this point. To be revisited when he falls asleep.

THE END.